Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Does making changes to your weblog make you live longer?
I would like there to be one of those pop-ups asking you to take a survey as soon as you find yourself on one of my webpages that you were only minimally interested in. Ideally the pop-up will black out the text you came here to read based on a title that's only minimally related to the body text (i.e., what the economically-minded will call "content" on the mistaken assumption that I digest pointless words made up of tiny pixels only to express it as waste matter or "web-streaming," in the language of the 1%ers). Make it go away I can't bear to look at it anymore. Give me a survey pop-up or give me death. I would like to share my opinions about a text I haven't read on a website I haven't heard of that isn't about what I thought it was and if you won't let me do it just end it for me before the agony becomes too much. Promise? Changing your weblog won't make you live longer. Nothing will. Is it a cliche to claim that an article isn't worth writing if you can answer its title with a yes or a no? No, a cliche is a typesetting implement that only typography-[heart]ing hipsters will appreciate. Altering a cliche is like poking your typesetter in the face with a hot iron. Also, clever! God, I love me some altered cliches like a dead horse. You don't have a typesetter. You don't even have someone to read your copy. You don't know what copy is. Push it to the Web. Push, push, push, Williams-- push, push, push. But mainly I would like a pop-up ad to obscure these pointless words. They will not help you. Do not read them. Do not let them upset you. They are good words, like content and monetization. This weblog is monetized; give me the money please. [Find: "please" replace all with "if you please."] Incoherent lightly, do you telephone? No, no, not on this backbone, smartly.