- Where is the bathroom?
- Two whiskeys
- I just watched the free channels
- This party is lame
- I love you
- Get away from me, you crazy bitch
Friday, February 3, 2012
Phrases for language acquisition
The sad truth about most language learning courses and teach yourself apps is that they suck. As a man fluent in dozens of languages who has also read some stuff on Wikipedia about human nature and shit, I can be quite certain when I say that these so-called tools just don't understand me. They throw out all kinds of pseudo-scientific terminology about grammar being in the aether of the human mind and innate-submersion-transmogrification, when what we really need is a psychotomimetic approach to language acquisition. For you lame men, a psychotomimetic approach is to follow an average person around for a few days and figure out about 5-10 phrases they use most frequently. Sadly, our ante-intellectual po-po-patrol have tried to throw me in the hoosegaol for 'stalking' on a few occasions. But, like, they had to follow me around to catch me, right? Who's the stalker now? They only set science back by a few weeks, though, and I've been able to sort out those commonest phrases. If you can memorize these few things, you can become familiar with a new tongue in a matter of minutes.